Author: smarthu (Page 1 of 11)

I think the first real novel I read as a child was Little Women (a Christmas gift from my grandmother). I remember reading it several times, until I discovered the public library, where miracles occurred and i could check out whatever I wanted to read (somehow I was guided to the children’s and YA section–by a librarian).

I moved on to the entire Nancy Drew series, which were quick and easy to read, and there was always the promise of another book in the series. And so, I became hooked on series mysteries. Of course, I read others, like A Wrinkle in Time, which is more like Sci Fi, and even read a few “boys” Pirate books and other types of books, even non-fiction. I joke with my husband that I read most of my dad’s Popular Mechanics magazines. I also found some very scary true crime novels, but found my way back to more “cozy” mysteries.

Here’s why I like reading and writing mystery: anything can happen, and does; they are predictable in style and plot; the good guy always or usually wins; there’s not a lot of blood and gore.

Of course, I love reading biographies and auto-biographies, non-fiction adventure books (my favorites, for some reason have been books about climbing Mt. Everest, even though I will never come close to doing that.)

Then I come to this point: please don’t mess with public libraries, cutting funding, banning books. Please help keep this part of our great democracy alive!

Seems everyone is climbing Everest (will, not literally, but …) these days, some becoming a “first,”: the first disabled person to climb, the first woman, the first person under 15, etc.

It’s getting crowded up there, so much so, they’re leaving their debris behind.

No, this isn’t a conservation blog, but a blog about whether I need to have a physical goal like many in Colorado, where I live. Climbing or hiking every Colorado peak at or over 14,000 feet is an admirable goal here. We have more 14K peaks than any state. The oxygen up there is very very thin, and I have to “base camp” to go from Denver to Breckenridge.

My husband is a member of National Speakers Association (my personal nightmare), and he attended a conference in which the first 3 speakers had all summited Everest and they all had stories about how difficult it was (and expensive). The 4th speaker came out and said that he had NOT climbed Mt. Everest, and never intended to.

I have goals, and they’ve changed over the years: get a college degree (did that –three times), get a corporate job (did that, sometimes hated it), retire from said job (did that, barely), celebrate husband and children (doing that), grand kids (ditto), write a novel (did that many times, published once and working on a contract for 3 more).

Now my “personal Everest” is staying healthy, continue writing, being more social (that’s a real Everest commitment for me as an introvert), volunteering (ditto), enjoying life (doing), being a good person.

I have a small 12 x 12 rug that I keep under my feet at my computer desk. It is a woven picture of Mt. Everest. I keep my feet on it as I work. It keeps my feet warm, reminds me of my goals, and lets me breathe.

In 2025, much angst, anger and discouragement around DEI, but I know in my heart that it isn’t “over” for equality and inclusion.

I tell my daughters that I was a beneficiary of the “mother” of DEI, EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission),” which provided job and education opportunities for under-served groups of people (women, minorities, physically or mentally disadvantaged group). EEOC still exists; its website is still being updated. Eliminating DEI will do little else than have employees spend hours and days and months searching websites, libraries and the government for such offensive words as “woman,” “black,” “Hispanic,” “maternity leave,” “gay,” and many others. Nothing could go wrong there, right? Besides, once the “establishment” changes, hours will be spent putting these words and webpages back.

DEI evolved as a part of EEOC, and spilled over to other areas besides employment, such as cultural events, books, movies, music, etc. Much of this is good, but it also came as a threat to some groups of people (whites, white males, etc.)

I’m a white female, and according to statistics, white women seem to have benefited the most from EEOC and resulting DEI. I was one of those women, having gone to college (three times, no less, and getting a paid-for Master’s Degree), getting a good corporate job with good benefits to help me support two children. I met my husband at that job, and it certainly was a blessing to have a supportive and successful life partner to help me with raising two children. I have often thought that EEOC also liberated white men from marriages they didn’t want, from supporting children when they didn’t want to, from working when they didn’t want to. I guess some white males don’t see it that way.

But, I digress. When I interviewed for my corporate job, I was part of an “experimental” group of 20 or so people (mostly women, a couple of men who bowed out early). We were tested, interviewed and then put into a training program for IT jobs. We were the first of several groups of mostly women who were required to have degrees (even though most of the managers I worked for didn’t have degrees themselves, and seemed to resent any mention of college).

I retired (with pension) from that company 26 years later.

It wasn’t always easy; during that time, I and others suffered silently subtle roadblocks and discrimination. I realize that as a white woman, I also had “white privilege,” and know nothing about extreme discrimination. As a group of “EEO” hires, we got good salaries, got bonuses, got excellent benefits–the same as the men. I was sometimes denied help when I didn’t understand something about my job, left out of meetings, talked about, called an “EEO hire,” etc. Yet, I believe sometimes I was ignored when it came time to lay people off (was there a quota which I would lower if I was fired?). I worked hard, completed my work, got ahead as much as I could, learned as much as I could. I did find women helping women. I also saw them scrambling over one another trying to get ahead. My only regret about that career? Be more brave. Take more chances. Work smarter and network better.

Back to the reason I don’t think DEI will DIE anytime soon. Women and minorities have spent the last forty years getting educations, higher degrees, getting experience, starting businesses, becoming lawyers and doctors. We haven’t slacked. We did much of this while raising children, keeping homes. I think this forty years have given groups of people a “leg up,” so to speak, and now it is unlikely to change. We will continue to get the books we need to learn. We will teach each other, support each other.

DEI may change acronyms but it won’t die.

I recently had a professional edit a book I had written (patiently waiting for a publisher, btw), and one consistent remark in the manuscript margins was, “you have persistent pronoun confusion.”

What he meant was that I would write about two separate female characters in one sentence, and in the next, would write, “she ate a salad.” The editor said, “who is she?”

Besides being an existential question, it is “pronoun confusion.”

I thought about this the past several years as “what is your pronoun?” came to be a debate/conversational topic; he/him,she/her, they/them.

I am unapologetically pro-gay, but also unapologetically straight, so I found the discussion confusing. My confusion comes from my background of trying to get grammar correct, using it according to rules and norms I’d read. I’ll leave questions to others about such subjects of trangenderism, binary/non-bianary and yes, the use of pronouns. My characters will continue to be he, she, him or they (singular).

I realize now that language is consistently changing and probably always will.

Now, can we talk about the subject of cursive writing? Where did it go? Should I be happy because my cursive is ugly anyway? Will kids be able to read anything I hand-wrote in hundred years? And, why would they want to?

Just a couple miles from Lahaina, Maui, which is still recovering from a devastating fire in August of 2023, is a comforting, seldom-changing area to visit. My husband took all these photos and his iPhone graciously put it in an album for us (sometimes I love tech).

Kaanapali Beach was once “Airport Beach,” as it was the location of Kaanapali Airport. The Castaway Cafe is also on the sight and was one of the original buildings on Maui Kaanapali Villas property.

I never left the state of Colorado until I was around 19 years old, and then it was to Kansas, the state to the East of Colorado. I grew up on a small farm/ranch in Colorado, and my big dream was to go to Disney Land. That particular destination is now my least favorite; I much prefer natural wonders like Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and Mesa Verde.

When I met my husband, he wanted to travel, and that’s when it all began. Unlike a lot of people, I never really said, “I want to travel the world.”

I’m glad I have. My husband has taken me to numerous states (in all meanings of the word), countries including Egypt, France (and all over Europe), Russia (okay, it was included in the cruise), Ireland, England, Scotland, Mexico (that’s as far south as I got), and many more places that I have to look at pictures to remember.

I love that he introduced me to travel; it has broadened my views of other people and cultures, introduced me to new foods, new animals, new people.

Can’t wait for June–Japan. Excuse my “humble brag.”

My primary career job (until I eased into writing), was as a software engineer and later Project Manager. I started out as a (confession here) EEOC aka DEI hire into a group of 10 women who were recent college graduates. I went through 3 months of training, and ended up doing software programming, not easy for someone with a decided number dyslexia. However, the programming language was COBOL, otherwise known as Common Business Language. That I could handle. My name most likely still lies unassuming in numerous programs used by still existing telecoms.

The point is, this work was hard for me. I spent hours taking home printouts of enormous computer programs, trying to find the “needle in the haystack” of whatever mistake I had made. Even harder, I think, is navigating the ocean of APPS, web-sites, portals, phone situations—on and on.

Nothing works the same way twice, it seems, and once you get it working, it changes. I’m writing this after spending a half day getting into yet another website that had changed without any notification.

I’m no dummy, but it seems like some of these new technologies make our lives harder, not easier.

Let’s don’t even talk about the situations with young kids and games and websites and bullying and body image….

To have a “trigger” is a relatively new term defining that “thing” that instills a negative response in you, such as fear, anxiety, anger or a feeling of dread or sickness.

Here is a definition (according to some AI): A “glimmer” in response to a trigger is a small, positive moment or sensation that can counteract the negative effects of a trigger, essentially acting as a calming cue that helps to regulate your nervous system and bring you back to a sense of safety, as opposed to a trigger which would evoke a stressful response; they are considered the opposite of triggers, sparking feelings of peace and joy instead of anxiety or distress. 

We all have triggers, some of them very serious, some mild. For instance, I have mild triggers to certain words or phrases (such as people using grammar improperly), the sound of someone’s voice on the news, certain smells, certain sounds.

Some serious triggers might cause real fear and panic attacks, real sadness and depression, and might cause negative responses such as over-drinking and drugging and “taking it out on others.”

I’ve talked about it before, but some of my serious triggers (although only medium in seriousness, if you will), are people asking me about my experience being a teen mom, asking me to recount when my youngest daughter was seriously ill, or remembering something someone said to me. My children (2 daughters) most likely have triggers from being raised by a very young single mother, and the younger daughter having to move to a new area after my marriage. Lots of glimmers needed there on their part. I’m proud of both of them and how resilient and self-reliant they are.

I’m lucky in that I have a short little range of emotions. I’m like a Golden Retriever most of the time; lah-de-dah happy and easy to please. If I get depressed, it’s mild and I can easily work my way out of it.

My husband brought up the fact that he saw an article about “glimmers” and how they are the opposite of triggers. We can pull them up any time. Use them. For instance, if a word triggers you, or the news, or an angry driver trying to annoy you, bring into your mind something you love; you dog, your partner or spouse, your children, your health.

I think a glimmer might be akin to gratitude.

I also think binging series or movies might be “big glimmers.”

It’s no wonder that when you think of the word “glimmer,” you think of hope.

There’s a glimmer out there for all of us.

My DH read a “gem” about how fleeting time is: “Time is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”

Why is that? Not only the days go faster, but the months and years. It’s frightening to notice your children are no longer children; you are no longer young, and you’re too old for “early onset” anything.

My resolutions for 2025; try to slow down time; use time wisely, move faster (than time) on remaining goals.

One thing about age (for me); you’re never done with your goals. There is going to be those scraps of “tp” left unused at the end of our days.

I intend to make it many more days and use up all the TP.

Sorry for the visual.

Has a good “ring” to it. two 2’s a 5 and a 0.

I usually, like most people set new goals on this day.

One of my most important (to me); don’t listen to talking-head news. I’m my own expert (in my own mind).

I’ll read headlines each day but limit it to one website, such as CNN.

The others are now noise to me instead of news.

If I can regain some productivity by not caring as much about what other people think is going to happen versus what actually happens, good on me.

By keeping this resolution, I can replace the time I gain with productive things; writing a couple books I’m working on, improving my exercise and strength routines, spending more time with DH, daughters and grands (if they are willing), traveling.

There’s so much more to do that doesn’t involve me reading comments on articles that may or may not be true, looking up celebrities or listening to political commentary.